You ever look in the mirror one day or see a photograph of yourself and suddenly realize that the person you remember yourself being is not the person that others see? I am 5'8" tall and 75 pounds over weight. This is not something new, I have been over 200 lbs since the birth of my last two children, but as I age that same extra 75 pounds seems to move around.
This past weekend was my most recent "awakening". Kirsty Alley is on the cover of People Magazine this week talking about her 80+ pound weight gain after her stint promoting Jenny Craig. As I read the article I slowly realized that Kirsty and I are the same height and basically the same weight, yet when I looked at her pictures I thought to myself "I don't look like THAT". I showed the pictures to my husband who, bless his heart believes in brutal honesty. I said "Please tell me that I don't look like THAT." He pondered how he wanted to respond because, really, he is still going to want to sleep in his own bed later, and said "Well, I don't think your a** is that big". TOTAL AWAKENING - I DO look like Kirsty Alley! Crap!
With my new found awareness and of course deflated body image, I decided to firmly plant my not quite as big as Kirsty's a** back on the "healthy lifestyle" wagon and get back to doing what I know is the right thing. You know the drill - take my insulin resistance medication & vitamins, stop cancelling my appointments with my nutritionist because I am SO busy, stop drinking strawberry daiquiri's to relieve stress, walk farther than the distance between the couch and the bathroom for daily exercise, stop telling myself that chicken nuggest and a grilled chicken breast are basically the same thing, and no more giant bowls of popcorn while I watch Grey's Anatomy! Oh, yeah, and for heaven sakes drink some WATER! Am I the only person who thinks that sounds painful and a bit like the torture used to make prisoners talk? I am sure that I can do this - at least I will start to believe it if I say it out loud enough.
Since accountability is the key to success and since I get pissed if my husband tries to "help" in that department, I decided cyber accountability is the only way to go. After all - if I don't like what you have to say at least you won't have to sleep with one eye open or worse yet, on the couch. See - this is going to be a Win-Win for everyone!
"Admitting you have a problem is the first step." - as the saying goes. I too am in the denial and "Well, I get out of it what I put into it" stage. I would love to look like I did before kids, but most importantly be comfortable in the skin I'm in.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe the clothing available these days is tight and reveals more than we want to also, telling us loudly that we don't look as good as we used to. We need to find clothing that is complimentary on us and feel good in it.
I also struggle with the "help" my husband offers, since our lives, even in the same house, are completely different. I don't take the time at lunch to exercise like him, because I am not here at lunch, nor do I want to exercise and have to shower in the middle of the day. So we, as friends, need to find a way to exercise and support each other. I would love to help you and help myself at the same time. Let's figure out a way to walk together a certain time and days each week and then try to increase the distance and speed.
I think accountability is key and being in a group is great. When one doesn't want to go, the others cheer you along and make you go. We will feel better about ourselves for making the effort to exercise, as well as, having time to visit and vent, if necessary.
Let me know and we will schedule in ourselves first in our busy calendars, instead of trying to fit it in after everyone else.
Way to go Michelle! I believe in being persistent and consistent. Baby steps! Don't punish yourself if you temporarily fall off the wagon, everyone has moments of weakness. Just pick yourself up and recommit yourself to your goal. I know you can do it!
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